A reader responds to Close but not close enough for Vanajah
FIRSTLY, I have to say that all Malaysians, women in particular, must feel very proud of Vanajah Sivasubramaniam.
She was not only among the last four, but the only woman left standing among three other men, to compete for the first Malaysian astronaut race.
That in itself was a great achievement and Vanajah should not feel bad that she did not succeed in the final round. That was enough to bring glory and pride to Malaysian women.
As a Malaysian woman, I have to salute Vanajah, the gutsy lady as you have described her.
Although I know very little about the space programme, I can appreciate how difficult it must be to be an astronaut. One has to be a very disciplined person at many levels to qualify to be one and to join a space mission. That Vanajah had got that far speaks a lot for her character - she must be a very determined, strong and disciplined person.
I am happy to know that Vanajah had now gotten over the pain and disappointment of failing in the last hurdle. As she had said that "participating in the programme was the best thing to have happened to her", she should always bear that in mind and move on in her career.
But let it be known to her that she had made a lot of Malaysian women proud. - Madam Tan
On Anything but politics: Mike Chong had tasted poverty
I have always wanted to know more of 'Mr Fix It' (Michael Chong) and am glad to have found more info on him in Rentakini .
I have read many stories of him helping desperate Malaysians and that he had derived much satisfaction in solving their problems. Kudos to this good man.
I'm truly glad that you have selected this shining example of a man from a humble background and untainted (as compared to many politicians) to be featured in Rentakini .- Siew Wah
I just want to correct one misconception about Bangladesh which some of your readers have brought up.
Bangladesh is not a English speaking country and it never was. Compared to Malaysia, a lower percentage of educated Bangladeshis can actually communicate in English.
However, it is possible that Bangladeshi foreign workers have a better survival skill and they are able to adapt quickly and to learn new languages, be it be English or Bahasa, at a speed which surprises Malaysians..
And about your comment that "even several of our Malaysian VIPs of Indian descent can be considered handsome...", it may surprise many Malaysians that Dr Mahathir Mohamad is actually of Bangladeshi descent.
In fact, Mahathir talked about this himself in 1992 while speaking at a NAM or OIC meeting in Dhaka. He had said that his forefathers' birthplace is located in Chittagong, Bangladesh during his official Dhaka visit (Chittagong is about 165 km from Dhaka). I believe he even paid a visit to Chittagong at that time. - Monayem
EDITOR'S NOTE: As Bangladesh was once part of India, it is also correct to say that the former prime minister is of Indian descent.
On Confessions of the other woman .
Before I pour my thoughts on the subject of "the other woman," I would like to firstly tell Hermosa that you must always find out if the man is single or not before pursuing him. It should be a 'no' even if he has a girl friend and it's 'no no' if he is married.
Honestly, my question is; why do you want to be the other woman? I mean don't you ever have the feeling of "he sleeps with her every day, it's her he sees when he wakes up first thing in the morning" etc.
Do you not want to have a man of your own to brag about? Let people know that he belongs to you and no one else? Let people stare and envy both you and the bloke who walks next to you arm in arm in public and have the satisfaction of knowing that he is yours. I would! I definitely would want a man of my own and not someone I have to share my man with.
I can't say that this man is bound to leave you some day as he will choose his family over you one day because he may never do that. He may choose to live his entire live in a lie.
You stressed out that you are not a marriage wrecker when in fact, you already are. You said that you will leave him if his wife cannot accept you. For what reasons should she accept you? You said you will leave him if his wife asks him to choose between the two of you, But why wait till she asks you to do so, leave him now!
You have a right to be choosy, everyone does. And of course only you yourself know what you are worthy of and I respect every part of that. So be choosy, go out there and get the best looking, richest, most intelligent man you can! I'm not saying it's going to be easy. Heck I've been through a string of six wrong relationships, and I'm sure a lot of women have been through more! But I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life with a married man who is still living with his wife and children.
So marriage frightens you, then don't get married. Here's what I usually say to my girl friends, "I'd rather just live with him and have sex daily rather than be married to him." But of course even for that, he has to be a single man, with no girlfriend, and definitely not be married.
You said you are choosy because you know what you want and what you are worth. So respect yourself. Be with someone you can claim as your own! - Jessie Nair
Marriage is a commitment
I salute the courage of this woman but I wonder for how long the woman and her married man can sustain a relationship that is based on secrecy.
From personal experience, I would say that such a relationship would never be rewarding or emotionally fulfilling. There's so much to hide from others and even from herself because Hermosa must not betray her real feelings of dissatisfactions to her lover, precisely because those are the terms on which secrecy survives.
How can this be love when love is not expressed fully? How can such love survive if one has to live with the mysteries of his other life? How can Hermosa believe that he is responsible for all those people in his life when he is clearly not?
Marriage is a commitment which is based on trust from two people. Marriage is secular and even love is secular. No gods or evils should be invoked when it comes to honouring the trust that two people have committed to uphold. - Regina Lim
Men stray - it's a fact!
Dear Hermosa, I admire the way you think you are definitely in the minority. While I do not advocate anything, many men 'stray' because they find the other woman more attractive (in and out of the bed) than their spouses.
This is not to say that this is the correct behaviour but it happens to be a fact. Telling the other woman the truth about their marital status may wedge the relationship and hence, they lie.
This is a complex world and the relationship problems we face are, more complex. I'm not the type to preach morality and I shall not. I hope you find peace in your heart and I wish you the best. - Ramesh
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