LETTER | In Malaysia, 2018 is the year for woman empowerment. Our prime minister has specifically mentioned the government’s emphasis to achieve this in his 2018 Budget presentation.

All this talk on empowerment got me thinking—what does it really mean for me? Does it mean that I receive the same salary as men do, or given the same tasks and responsibilities they are given, or equal treatment in my profession?

To me, empowerment of women means so much more. People often assume that empowerment does not fit into the lives of “conventional” Muslim women. If you are married with children, well then all the more reasons for you to be “tied down” and “held back” by your children, your husband and your faith.

Which is why I wanted to explain what empowerment meant to me. I am a Hijabi mother to two kids, and devoted wife to a loving husband. I am also a full-time working woman, who tries her best every day to bring change to the lives of her students and positivity in the community.

I have never felt suppressed by my religion, nor have I felt restricted by my husband. In fact, it is my religion, and my family, which sets me free.

How is that possible, you say? Especially when the media depicts all these stories of the backward Muslim woman. You know the one - the Hijabi that “conceals” her beauty with her headscarf with her eyes downcast because she has no confidence to look you in the eye.

The one with her fingers intertwined when she speaks as she has no ability to conduct herself in a social setting. That lady that feels she has to stay at the back, and not be seen or heard, as that is what her faith “expects” of her..

Well, I am a Hijabi but I am not that woman. I am a Muslim who has never felt subjugated because her faith has taught her the true value of women. The value of which is so high than many modern men are not able to properly appreciate it.

How could I ever feel victimised by my faith when my faith elevates the position of women and mothers to the extent that heaven is under their feet? My faith makes me realise it is a privilege and honour to be a woman. If only more people would realise that.

And a beautiful thing that the Islamic faith highlights about the worth of women can be seen through this hadith:

“A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your father.” (Bukhari, Muslim).

Today, women face so much pressure to be a superwoman: one who manages to cook and clean and care for her home and kids, whilst juggling a career and looking beautiful and polished at the same time.

This hadith gave a big impact to me because it made me realise that unlike society that sometimes looks upon a woman negatively for being “JUST” a mother, Islam values this position more than any worldy title ever could.

In Islam, a mother is never “just” a mother. Of course, there is nothing wrong with a working woman (the Prophet’s beloved wife Khadijah RA was a successful and wealthy businesswoman).

But if a woman chooses the role of a wife and mother and nothing else, that that is more than enough. A mother is the beating heart of the family and the community. Honour her for that; give her respect and appreciation for all that she is due.

I can’t deny that many men do not know how to live by the true teachings of the Prophet Muhammad as underlined in the Holy Book. This is where the problem lies, and this is why we have problems in empowering women today.

But a man that truly understands his faith, would have always done what he could to empower the women in his life. And I am fortunate that the men in my life have always done just that.

So to me, being a Hijabi-working-wife-and-mom-of-two has not stopped me from being who I wanted to be. Instead, knowing my roles as a Muslimah, wife and mother has only made me a better in my personal and professional life.

To me, empowerment doesn’t necessarily mean equality. It doesn’t mean I need to make a point to my husband by being as busy as he is. It doesn’t mean I need to compete with men to show them I am just as good as they are.

As a woman, I know a woman’s worth as highlighted and emphasised in the Holy Quran. I know that insyaAllah, I will be rewarded if I properly perform my responsibilities as a wife and mother, just as men will be rewarded when they perform their duties too.

There is no need to enter a race to prove who is stronger, or better. Everyone, man and woman, have their roles and should be valued for who they are.

Everyone should be treated with respect. With justice and fairness. As our great scholar Prof Syed Muhammad Naquib said, justice is “a harmonious condition or state of affairs whereby everything is in its right and proper place.”

It is when we treat people the way they deserve to be treated. Once this is done, there will be no question of empowering men or women, as each would have fulfilled their obligations. And when obligations are met, automatically rights will be realised.

I think the best way towards empowerment is to emphasise the value of women as Islam values women. To teach our sons that they do not get a free pass for misbehaviour merely because of their gender.

To respect our wife the way the Prophet respected his, so that we would be a good model to our sons on how they should treat the women in their lives.

And most importantly, men need to truly value women—and this needs to be reflected in their thoughts, words and actions. When we elevate women to the level they are meant to be, then the entire community benefits.

Therefore we need to walk the talk. Policies are one thing, our actions in our personal and professional lives are another.

Act now. Value the women in your lives today—and teach your children to do the same. It is only when we change ourselves, that negative societal norms can be changed as well. Its starts with us.

My name is Murni Wan Mohd Nor, and I am an empowered Hijabi. How about you?

The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of Malaysiakini.