COMMENT | Hear ye, hear ye! Gather round, good people, for today’s proclamation from the Umno-dominated Ministry of Alternative Logic.

Once upon a time, town criers in Shakespearean garb declared who was guilty, who was innocent, and who had merely stolen the king’s chickens. But in Malaysia, Ahmad Maslan’s microphone has replaced the crier’s bell, and the message is far more entertaining.

Ordinarily, there would have been a modern-day cry on the lines of “Houston, we have a problem”, but with the history of his extraordinary pronouncements, there was no cause for alarm.

According to the latest decree, he that stealeth and plundereth the wealth of the land is innocent - provided he stayeth to fight in court.

In other words, guilt is not measured by what you did, but...